Regained Fate
by Dharakfire
Summary: I knew I cried any times before, but these were real tears of sadness, not of fear anymore. Not of pain, but of my hopeless. So I screamed.


Author's Notes: Something I wrote back awhile ago for HetaOni. It's old and smelly. Told in Italy's POV.

* * *

I was hopeless. I was lost, confused, afraid of what was going to happen next. Afraid, I was so afraid at that moment. Ever since I had told America about that mansion and we all went to explore it, everything had gone wrong. I didn't know it would turn this way, I didn't know it would just go so wrong and ruin everything. I watched them die within the few moments that I left, and then, before I could even comprehend what had happened, I realized I was the only one left. My friends were dead. They were all _dead. _I cannot erase that memory, the crimson blood against the white walls, floor... I want to forget but I knew I couldn't. The first loop was the most terrifying and heart-breaking.

I knew I cried any times before, but these were real tears of sadness, not of fear anymore. Not of pain, but of my hopeless. So I screamed.

* * *

_"I'm the only one who survived... The only one who made it out..." I laughed bitterly, taking a few steps as the rain fell relentlessly against me. It was as if the sky was crying along with me, as if it knew how I felt. _

_ "I shouldn't have been able to get out..." I paused, turning to stare at the mansion bitterly, tears shining in my eyes. "What the hell? This doesn't make any sense. What the hell? __**What the hell?!**__" The tears began to fall and trickle down my cheeks, I couldn't control it anymore. I couldn't hold the tears back. So I began to cry, silent sobs. That was, until I heard the door open and slam. I fixed my eyes upon that very same creature who caused the deaths of the other nations, of my friends. It growled, blood blotted upon it, staring at me with those empty eyes._

_ I was shocked for but a brief moment, and eventually I turned, and began to run, feeling weariness straining at me once more. I felt so tired, but I ran despite that fact. I didn't care anymore. As the gate became more and more larger as I got closer, I suddenly stopped in my tracks for some reason and turned around to face the creature. I bit down upon my lip as it stopped as well, gazing at me once more. I hated that creature with every fiber of my being._

_ "Stop!" I screamed. "I won, didn't I? You lost! You couldn't catch me! As soon as I get out of here, you can't do anything! You'll be unable to reach me- You lost! But when I get out of here, this place won't be the same. I'll destroy this place, I'm a nation!" I was crying from the grief that thing had caused me. But all it did was stand there, continuing to stare at me with those same eyes; hollow and void of emotion._

_ "Doesn't that make you frustrated? I'm your last trophy, after all. You lost to the guy whose only feature is his fast feet." I stopped speaking for few moments, trying to stop my breath from hitching whenever I talked. The thing remained silent, as always, standing there crouched in the rain, the water slowly washing the red liquid down its skin._

_ "...Back..." I stared at the creature, my voice a whisper. "Take us back!" I soon shouted, hate and grief clouding my voice. "You can take us back in this warped space, can't you? If you can do that, then why don't you eat me first instead? But if you can catch me, that is." I stopped talking. My knees felt weak, like they were to give out underneath me. I wanted to collapse and just scream and shout, cry, trying to deny that truth that they were truly dead._

_ "GO BACK!" I shouted and before I knew it, my vision blurred and faded, the world twisting around me in odd ways. My eyes fell shut, and when I opened my eyes, I was back at the world meeting. _

* * *

And that was what happened. I tried to prevent them from coming to the mansion. But they didn't listen to me. They took me as a fool with fake lies. They believed that I was only too afraid to enter the mansion. I could do nothing to prevent them coming to that dreaded mansion, where it will repeat all over again.

So... I put on a facade, the only thing I could do, pretending, lying to them through all these time loops. I told myself repeatedly to be strong this time, to be strong for Germany, for Japan... For them all. I believed I would solve this all on my own, but every time I had tried, I had always end up failing, always end up crying, feeling hopeless, sad, lost. My faith began to dwindle, and they didn't notice. They couldn't notice. I refused to tell them anything. I would save them all by myself, I wouldn't be weak again. But it continued on and on, and each time I rewinded the clock, someone would always die. My friends and I must get out of this mansion, and no one, no one would die, no one should be left behind. That's what I told myself.

But as I re winded the clock with a heavy heart, my faith diminished down to a small flame, I decided this would perhaps be my last time rewinding the clock. The pain was too much for me to bear. Perhaps I should just accept their deaths. We were nations after all, but in this mansion, we were human. We could die easily. We nations have prolonged life spans, but like everything, we too much die sometimes. But this time loop, everything had took a change. Perhaps it wasn't good, nor it wasn't all to bad. This loop gave me hope again, no matter how little it is.

This time, I learned something important. I learned that I could always rely on them, to count on them. If I had only told them in the past loops, perhaps I could have succeeded. But I kept everything bottled up within, so I slowly lost my memories, one by one. Even my best memories, such as being the Axis Powers with Japan and Germany. However, I ended up telling them what I was willing to let go from time to time. Despite my reckless actions, such as locking them up in that one room. Even Romano and Spain had came, and they hadn't in the past loops. All these nations were coming to just get us out of this mansion, out of this nightmare.

I was excited. My lost hope and my lost faith began to be restored, slowly as we faced the challenges together. I believed that we would all get out of this nightmare. I believed we would make it out of this alive. This time, I swore to myself I would save them all. And I wouldn't be alone this time.


End file.
